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Monday, March 30, 2015

Confuse .Fuzziness.


 SPM/STPM leaver
about to apply for university
no idea about any universities to choose
confuse to choose among 2 or more universities

is somebody here happen to be on that situation?

it was a very sad day. I was only an SPM leaver. I was so young. I remembered that day when I was about to apply for university through upu. It's an online application where we can apply for any universities that we want ,and choose any courses offered there. It is so embarassing to tell that I was still very immature to make a good choice for myself. I chose many courses that I felt the courses are kind of hard to get. And finally, the result was out. It end up with I didn't get anything. I didn't get any of the universities that I applied.

I remembered I ever worked after SPM . Just as a salesgirl at a small bookstore. I work about one month and managed to quit. That work is kind of tiring. I went to work by bus everyday using my mom's money. I have nothing mine on that time. I owe my mom a lot of money, for the bus, for the foods, and so forth. I got my first salary and went home happily. A few days later , I went to my sister's place in KL with my lovely cousin and a friend. It's just three of us .

I stayed there for quite a long period. I would say almost a month!I don't need to tell how much money I spend to survive there. I used my money salary.That is the time when I felt full of regretful that I use all the money just for myself. I realised I made mistakes to my mom. I owe her many things . Many unexplained things in my life. I can't afford to pay all she had done for me.May Allah always bless you mama . I cried very often thinking about that. Nobody know.

There was a time my mom called me and asked whether I was ok and when I want to come home.
She was so nice to me. She called to know whether I want to further my study. She knew I didn't get any universities offer. I was sad too ,but I can't do anything to change that.

Then, I got an offer from my old school to further my studying in form 6. I have not much time to answer it. Yes, I have to go for it. I need to. I must further my study and leave all messes behind. So, I went home , leaving  KL.

 I went to my old school and furthered my studies.
Two years was a hard and memorable time for me and my friends. We studied together ,struggling for STPM . I  felt very thankful to Him for giving me such a good and nice friends around me. I have the nicest teachers that have teaching me and my friends. They helped us when we are clueless doing pbs, when we were in need. They are like our second parents in school.

Finally , the STPM result was out.

I took my STPM result at school. I got 3** pointer something. I was advised by my teacher to apply for uniKL. My teacher told me and my friends to still apply for that uniKL although we want to apply for any IPTA .Just to make sure we still can further our studies if we don't get any of IPTA or we don't get the courses that we want .

I did applied for Unikl ,Bachelor of Industrial Logistic (Honours). It is located in Johor. It's too far . Far away from my hometown in north...what happen after that?

*I think I am going to continue this later.. I'll update it very soon . bye peeps!

(continue )

What happen after that? ,I will continue this right now. I actually applied IPTA too.
I remembered that I applied many courses connected on the education field. Like, tesl, Bahasa Melayu linguistic ,etc . that I can't even remember all of them. I also chose something like business, entrepreneur ,and logistics. To be honest, I don't really hope to get that because my eyes are being blurred by unikl ,the university that my teacher had always mentioned to us.

At the first, my dream to further my study in unikl was so stupendous. It can't be said no more that I really wanted to be there. The course offered which is industrial logistic ,become  a very famous course that promised you a large opportunities for getting jobs after graduation.After getting bachelor, you will get another advantage which is getting the  CILT ? I don't know more about it, but my teacher said that the cilt is the certification that can be used in all countries around this world. You can apply for any jobs that connected to logistics ,wherever the place you want.  MARA  also would give you loan as PTPTN did . If you can get dean , your loan  will become less, the higher the pointer you get, the lower you have to pay the loan back/.That's the best part.

But now, my dream turns obscure. I felt myself in fuzziness. I started to feel that way because of something . Something that happened in one night. My bro called me and shared some stories to me about his friend. He told me that  he has a friend that work in logistic area (I know he's trying to talk about  the course that i want to take in unikl). His friend said the job was so tiring and he only can go home the earliest at 11pm. His friend had to leave his wife and children at home so often just for that work.  I started to worry. My heart struggled to breathe on that time. I didn't blame him for doing that, he just telling me to think twice or more before I make a right and final decision. There is still a lot of courses that I can go for in IPTA. I mean the courses that I can apply suitable with my results.

Another thing that made me feel worried was the unikl's fees. It's quite pricey. You know, they are non-government university.

#So yeah, Unikl problems to me are like:

*Fees (we need to pay all the fees in semester 1 cuz Mara loan will start on 2nd semester/ need to use   own money to survive on semester/own pocket money)
*long-distance ( which is located in Johor)

#and I must think about these things too:

*the environment there (I need to adapt with the new environment there to survive or stay longer)
*the friends/teachers/lecturers (how would they be ? is they will be nice to me or I can't be nice to      them??)
*the studies (this is the most important thing, If the place is too far ,I am afraid I'll be homesick and cannot study well)
 *and  all above .

What about IPTA? :
*all the same problem as unikl except the fees part
*if you get dean ,you still have to pay the same amount as your loan.
*less opportunity for getting job if you get low pointer ( damn i don't really know about this just tellin' ya)

All things above just always haunted me. I can't get rid from thinking that.
All these things just made me confuse. Confuse to make any decision.

My mom ever said that I can go for anything in my life. She didn't say no or yes  when I said I want to further my study in unikl or IPTA .But I know, deep  inside her heart, she want me to enter IPTA rather than IPTS .She ever asked me to apply for teaching and education course. It's kind of hard to get ,I know my level, but I applied that courses too. I wish I can get at least the eng. course that I always wanted it so much. If I can't go for unikl, then I only hope for that course .

Uh huh .that's only here for tonight.
I am still thinking about my journey of life. what happen to my future. only Him know.
hmm, where am I who am I in the ten years to come ?


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

4 Reasons Why I Want to Learn Chinese

Assalamualaikum peeps .

it has been so long since i am leaving this blog
guess what ? guess what ?
I am gonna make a post !

i know there are people who will have kinda  krik krik* reaction
but whatever , i am gonna start it now .
and sharing with you guys why i really wanna learn chinese

you know what ,sometimes when i told my parents that i wanna learn chinese they were like "its up to you" I can learn any language that i want but i need to do it by myself, I mean if i want to join the  classes or tuition that can teach me chinese, i have to use my own money or else just forget it!

i would say that i am actually still a 'student' and do not have an extra cash like my friends who working after we are officially graduated form six..and that's the truth that i need to face. i am not that person who is trying to just stay at home while still having a long break before getting a university's call and do-not-ever try to find unless a job ,no.. not  ...I tried to find some job that i can do to get money but it always end up with failure .no, not failure ,I believe that must be a reason why I cant get any job to do right now, there must be  hikmah behind all this mess ..

I don't know why,but  i have to tell this because there are some peoples treating me like i am so lazy being at home. oh *the emotions have comeeee* ok sorry for the long intro lets get back to the real intention. Im not gonna rank the reasons ,i just list them as i like .

the reasons why i wanna learn chinese are :

1. Chinese is a challenging language

Yes. Chinese is very challenging for those who are non-chinese. I dont know if there are chineses out there which having the same problem with the non-chinese. i mean, did they have this trouble too?
cuz i had a chinese friend that ever told me chinese subject is so hard to pass in the exam. whatever~

So i found that chinese is quite a challenging language that i enjoyed learning it .Oh forgot to tell that i've started learning chinese through online ,ok just online , just doing some searchings about chinese characters, how to pronounce them and so on. There are about thousands( i think 5000 or more) chinese characters that will totally make your head blown up trying to memorise them all!!I really wondered how the chinese could make this? if there is non-chinese can memorize all chinese characters well, OK you owe me a huge respect ,sir !

Other than chinese, we still have lots more challenging languages. Be it France, Mexico ...etc etc .Why dont we try one ?haha i just said that. but seriously,you will love chinese once you learn it! I am still not good in chinese but it worth for me.

2. I kinda love chinese songs

Not all chinese song. just several chinese songs that i ever and always listen to.. probably the song from exo ,heeeeeeee...you have no idea how sexiest "Our Tomorrow" song can be heard .go google it guys!

I was so attracted to some of chinese songs until I sing no more  Malay or English songs! *forget the grammar mistakes in my writing please* I also realised that i always singing in chinese rather than english nowadays, maybe just for fun ,but after that it turns like habit .At the first, i just singing while looking at the pinyin lyrics (that i use to copy from some websites) ,but after a few weeks i know that i can memorise the lyrics well (im not gonna say so 'well' but the pronunciations are quite same as what i heard using earphone) hahaha i tried hard and harder to make it sounds as similar as the singer did! well ,i hope that i can change something if i learn chinese language ,maybe i could starting to understand what actually the pinyin lyrics mean in Malay or English. so that we feel the song we sing!

gosh, i fell in love with chinese songs !especially the song by exo luhan <3

3. Easy to communicate with chinese? (We are 1 Malaysia maa..)

Talking about communication, we all need that things to survive. survive ?what do you mean? what i mean is the blind, the deaf ,the person who cant talk also have their own way of communication, they use signal language which is 'bahasa isyarat' to talk to people. in a nutshell, communication is important * what are you trying to say honey?*

the thing is, Malaysia have chinese ,and I have chinese friends too .So, I always always hope that i can at least talk to them a simple sentence , or a word =.= they might understand me sometimes but sometime they dont  cuz i am non-chinese lol, I have my own mother tounge and tried to speak chinese in front of my chinese friends but it seems like they dont understand what iam trying to say. that is why i have to learn chinese .

i just think that it would be nice and so good if i can communicate in chinese with my chinese friends and all chinese in societies.aOh ya don't you ever think that we can do the bargaining if we buy things from chinese ? it could be easier right? moreover, if you are travelling to China to buy souvenirs?

4. I would love to travel to china (make sense?)

yes, i'd love to travel all around this world including to China !!!! i just tought that if i could speak chinese to the chinese people, they will appreciate that...and i like that happening in my life. can you imagine if you are traveling in China and you speaks lots of chinese  and they would react or reply on what youre saying to them?? you can survive in many countries that using chinese languages...that's the best thing to deal with hoho

knowing this language also can help somebody if they lost. yeah ,if they lost in China or lost somewhere that only have people who know how to speak chinese . ada ke ?tahla. I don't know, it is the truth that there are a lot of Japanese  still survive using their mother tounge . . .they proud to use it.and that's a good thing, you guys must be proud of using your mother tounge, and not trying to learn many more languages that exist in this world! .who cares about that? i cares .i mean ,what's wrong  if i wanna learn others languages?wht is wrong with that?!seriously no wrong at all.

ok don't take it too serious, im gonna end this here.

thanks for stepping here, don't forget to come again Salaammm peeps!

*maybe i will update more reasons why i wanna learn chinese so bad. haha

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